So today I set my alarm for 10 a.m. but God had other plans for me. I was woken up by thunder at 7 a.m. something told me to turn on the morning service for a new church that was suggested to me. Crazy enough the service was just starting, so I was right on time. God's timing is perfect. First let me back up a few weeks ago to March 21, 2024; I woke up and took a shower. Unlike other days, today felt different. I got out the shower, got dressed, did my hair, put on something really nice, went to eat at an expensive restaurant ( Mudd Buggs Buda Tx. ) when I was waiting for my food, I started to feel out of place. My arms full of tattoos, tattoos on my neck, lol, people looking at me like I don't belong here; at least that's what a voice in my head was saying. I told myself "show them that you are more than what you look like you are" so when the waiter came I spook a little louder so they could here me order and ask questions about how they would be cooking certain items on the menu, not just with respect, but also with an educated mindset and passion for food. I could see that my communication skills, knowledge, etiquette, and my use of certain vocabulary words was quite impressive to them as if at that moment I was excepted into their circle. My food came a time later and I was eating the only way I knew how, but I noticed how the woman next to was eating with such grace and class. Now I have never wanted to be like anyone in my life, but at that moment I wanted to be more like her. She looked soft and classy, I was intrigued. It was at that moment that I wanted to elevate my game. Everything about was and is awesome, but something inside wanted to grow; wanted to rise up to such a higher level that even I wouldn't recognize myself anymore. So we left the restaurant and on the way home I told Kevin, I'm going to turn myself in. I don't think he was really feeling me because it was so random, I went alone to my bedroom and called the police on myself. When they came they took me to jail because I had a warrant that was 20 years old. Now fast forward to a few hours later when I finally made it to the holding tank, I was like WHAT DID I DO? Whyyyyyyyy on earth did I do this to myself? Just as I was about to get upset with that little voice in my head saying "YOUR SO STUPID" I was like OK GOD, what is it that you want me to hear? TALK TO ME, IT'S JUST ME AND YOU!!! Let's go, come on talk to me! It took me forever to really hear God but when I did. He said " Everytime I give you your wings, you let someone you love, cut them" I said, MAN THAT'S DEEP! So I was in jail for 5 days. On day one, I gave myself to God in such a way that I didn't even think twice about it. At that moment I felt relief come through my spirit and my body. My old life that I had been on my healing journey from, in my previous journals, WAS OVER! My life as I knew it, was dead. Long story short I didn't eat for 5 days and I barely drank any water, but every time my mind started racing (was my first excercise) I didn't have any of my medications for my mental health issues; I was just repeat over and over again "GOD Please control my thoughts" until it stopped. Day 2 at 9:30 p.m. I made it up to my housing unit, now I went in on Saturday afternoon and stayed in a tank by myself until 3 a.m. So it is now Sunday night, I was in ready to fight, cause come on now it's jail. I was ready, ready, lol. I walked in and the whole unit was reading out the Bible out loud. I went to my bunk I hadn't been to sleep in almost 2 days, I was tired, I had already started hallucinating a little bit, I was extremely dehydrated. I made one phone call before they cut the phones off, and went back to my bunk. Not knowing what to expect cause it's about to be cut off time. At 10 p.m. it was lights out. Quiet. I hear a loud voice say "They're four corners to my bed"... everyone repeats word for word.
BUNK PRAYER
They're four corners to my bed
lay four angels at my head
Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John
Lord bless this bunk I rest upon
Angels to the East
Angels to the West
Lord bless our families
as they rest.
I may not be where I want to be,
but thank God I'm not where I used to be.
Lord please forgive us for our sins.
In Jesus name I pray
Amen
Then we said one Hail Mary prayer.
I knew at that moment I was right where God wanted me at that moment at that precise time. God's timing is perfect. So that started the Begginings of my New Life. I got out and came home. I knew on day 5 that I was gonna walk knee deep in my purpose, with every promise that I made to God over the past few days. I killed my old life the moment that I went to jail. God gave me 5 days to mourn that life and to really process what that meant. With no distractions, I fasted for the first time, not meaning to just because that food was nasty I never eat when I'm in jail. Everything that I did over these past 5 days was all the new foundation for my new life. Every night I pray at 10 p.m. that same set of 2 prayers. No matter where I am or what i'm doing. I set my alarm at 10 p.m. when that alarm goes off I stop what i'm doing and I pray out loud, just like I did when I was born in that moment in jail. I fast 16:8. I got out and I logged off all social media. I just stayed talking to God for a month straight. I was transitioning, you know when you give birth to a new born, you take them home from the hospital, you keep them in the house for at least a month or two or even three. Only take the baby outside for Dr. appointments only. To protect them from germs and any dangerous things in the air, to give them a chance to let their little immune system to get stronger. That is what I did with myself. My New Life, I had to protect my energy and my spirit, while it was building up inside me. I meditated for 30 days, I practiced discipline. God told me to reach out to someone I trust dearly. I asked what does surrendering mean. She referred me to a church in Houston. I did my first Bible study that Wednesday, April 16, 2025. Now that is why today was so special and extremely divine. God's timing is perfect, He woke me up when he needed me to be up to hear what he needed to tell me. "This is the day that the Lord had made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118:24
I am Crystal Caine, please allow me to reintroduce myself.
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